To every Christian/Catholic who wants to be free

I don’t like to discuss religion. I believe it is a highly personal subject and everyone can choose to practise their faith in the way that suits them. But there comes a time when one must speak because it’s an issue that impacts many people. 

Years of being on the spiritual path has shown me that people of certain religions, especially Christians and Catholics, disagree with my beliefs and approach to life. When I decided to embark on my calling to serve, I thought that my customers would mostly be spiritual folks, open-minded free-thinkers and people whose religions didn’t directly contradict with my approach ie believers of other pantheons of deities and believers of reincarnation. 

So it surprises me every time Christians and Catholics reach out for healing and support. When they show up, they would share about how afraid they are. My heart breaks every single time I witness grown adults reduced to scared little children, afraid of punishment by God/church leaders/others. So when they show up, I know how brave they are because I know how much they’ve had to overcome, to trust the pull of their heart’s wisdom.

I believe that when Christians and Catholics show up, they are literally guided by Jesus himself. Because he would always appear in the sessions, healing them, passing messages to them directly. Many times, I’m just holding space for their own personal spiritual experiences. One consistent theme that keeps coming up is topic of the sinner. I always sense a heavy and depressing energy that diminishes their sense of worthiness. It’s a really strange concept, in fact, a little abusive. You enter a relationship believing you are always at fault, and so all your actions are all about redeeming yourself because your birth was already a sin. 

When people go on the healing journey, it’s inevitable for them to confront the voices that create fear, doubt and insecurity. And this born as a sinner bit is one of the worst. The first thing I always have to do is dissolve as much as possible the ‘sinner’ conditioning from my clients’ energy field. While it can never be complete in just one healing session, it creates an opening for them to face the real issues that need healing. 

Jesus would always want me to tell them that they are not sinners. They are born immaculate and already worthy of love. He does not see any sin in them. What the church considers sin is basically humanity at their weakest. This is what every healthy relationship should look like. Receiving because you’re worthy, not because you want to be saved. You are already loved. 

So why this fearful narrative?

To understand it, we must separate the divine from the church first. The divine is an intangible spiritual source of light we can connect to, lean on and receive nourishment. The church represents a system of mindsets, agenda and individuals that seek to enforce a certain set of beliefs on their followers to achieve specific goals. The light remains lit, no matter who we are, where we are, and what we believe in. It is always there for us. But somehow, somewhere, people were taught to connect to God in a specific place, through a specific charismatic individual for a specific agenda. Obedience is rewarded. We conform to rules, spoken and unspoken to be rewarded with a good life.

It expects people to go through life in a way that the church is always prosperous, always right and always powerful.

And the people who come to me have somehow seen that the good and modest Christian girl/boy trope doesn’t necessarily bring rewards IF they are forced to go against their natural instincts and their deepest desires. It only leads to repression, depression and disconnection. 

That said, I’m not against Christianity or Catholicism. I’m totally all for, you do you. And I regularly work with Jesus and Mother Mary. They are as real as rain to me. But I can’t help but feel angry when I see the devastating impacts of fearful narratives driven into people’s psyches. Because Jesus doesn’t want our obedience. A truly loving father will not make us believe we are flawed and that we need him to save us. Think about it, it’s just like capitalism. The beauty industry first makes us feel insecure about our bodies with a false narrative of the ideal look, then tries to save us with all the slimming and anti-aging products. Then ChatGPT tries to make us believe they are smarter than human beings so we use them. When our minds become numb and dumb, they sell us their services because we can no longer think on our own. Also, we don’t always to look that far. Even within our own families. What is the one thing that makes us listen to elders whose words and actions have no reason or love? Guilt. Shame. This is exactly what keeps toxic relationships going. 

The good thing is, while you may have an unequal relationship with the church, you can have the most loving relationship with God. I highly encourage everyone to go on their own spiritual adventure and discover their own truths. God is always with us and you will feel him/her the strongest when you follow your heart, not in the comfort of your cell group or worship session. God will reach you through a song, a random stranger, a feather and even through a monster who will destroy your illusions if that is what you need to reach your potential. Your heart knows he/she works in miraculous ways.

Your personal experiences with the divine will then shape you, and make your faith much stronger because you have been through it, not because someone told you this is the right way to think. I’m rooting for you to discover your heart’s truth. 

The devil is not the one who takes you away from church. The devil is the one who takes you away from love by using fear. And I truly hope you discover what is on the other side of fear.